In a new city, you lack “home field advantage.” You don’t know which neighborhoods go quiet after 9:00 PM or which taxis are unlicensed. To maintain total autonomy, these five locations are strictly off-limits for a first encounter:
- His “Favorite” Secluded Viewpoint: It sounds romantic—a hilltop overlooking the lights of the city or a hidden beach. But seclusion equals a lack of witnesses and no quick exit. If he suggests a “secret spot,” counter with a well-lit rooftop bar.
- A Moving Vehicle (That Isn’t Yours): Never let a first date pick you up at your accommodation. This gives away your “safe base” and puts him in control of the door locks and the destination. Always meet at the venue and take your own registered transport home.
- The “Local” House Party: Being the only foreigner at a private residence is a power imbalance. You don’t know the guests, the exits, or the local language well enough to navigate a pressured situation. Stick to cafes where the staff can see you.
- A Boat or Ferry: Whether it’s a sunset cruise or a private rowboat, being on the water means you are physically trapped until the captain decides to return to shore. Always stay on solid ground where you can walk away at any moment.
- Hotel Bars in Quiet Areas: While hotel bars are generally safe, choosing one in a remote area or a “resort bubble” makes it easy for a predator to follow you to your room or isolate you in a lobby with no foot traffic.
And I already know you know not to stay with your online love if you decide to meet him in his country, right?
Right?
You always need your own accommodations when meeting someone for the first time. You just do not know what is going to happen, and you need to have a “Plan B”.
Have you ever flown to another country to meet a man? What happened? Was it a “happily ever after” story or was it a complete bust?
What are your tips for meeting someone abroad for the first time?
For more dating abroad tips, click here.
