9 Ways to Keep Love Alive in a Long Distance Relationship

Communication is Key

I know this sounds like a damn cliche, but it’s true. With “normal” relationships, you can call or text and hang out when you can on weekends and during your free time, and often you can get together on the spur of the moment. You can’t always be spontaneously sexy like that when it takes time and money and plenty of planning to get together. Even the most confident people can sometimes get a little insecure or begin to have doubts when they aren’t reassured, so send a sweet little text or voice message sometimes to remind your partner you’re thinking of them.

Make sure you don’t overdo it though. Distance doesn’t give you license to be like Jacqueline Ades from Florida from who texted the guy from Phoenix, Arizona that she had one date with 65,000 times. Sometimes distance doesn’t always make love grow fonder; sometimes it makes you cray-cray.

Be Clear Upfront

Don’t just assume because you have an amazing connection and miss each other that you’re in a committed relationship. Talk about the distance and how you will each handle it. Do you want to be exclusive and 100% monogamous? Are you allowed to date other people as long as there’s no sex? Is it okay if you do have friends with benefits until you can live in the same city?

There’s a book called “The Ethical Slut” that is meant for polyamorous couples who choose non-monogamy, and while that may not be ideal for you in the long run, if you need to be apart for a lengthy period of time, it could help you to actually strengthen the love between you until you can be together in the future.

Consistent Contact

Texting “Good morning” is sweet, but be sure to send each other pictures, voice messages, and short videos once in a while to make them feel loved.

*Skype dates or video chat dates via Whats App are mandatory!

Plan “Dates”

While you’re apart, there’s no reason you can’t plan “dates” together. Use What’s App or some form of video chatting if possible to bring each other with you on outings. Play a game together. There’s no reason you can’t Netflix & chill together…even though the “chill” part may not be as exciting as if you were in the same bed together, snuggling. Watch a movie or tv show, or a documentary on YouTube or Vimeo at the same time.

Plan Actual Dates

Even if time and money prevent you from seeing each other as often as you’d like, have a date set for your next meeting. The physical part of a relationship, (making love, kissing, holding hands, etc. ) are extremely important, so even if it is not going to happen for a while, knowing that you’ll be seeing your partner on a certain date helps to ease the frustration, and increase the excitement and longing for each other.

Be Honest

It’s not easy to be completely transparent and honest with others, especially not when you’re discussing emotions like fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, etcetera.

But not being completely open with your lover can destroy whatever love you are building together. It may actually bring you closer together and help your partner to understand better how your feeling and what you need to feel supported.

Powerful Pendants

A tiny seashell, necklace, or pendant that your partner gives you can bring powerful reminders of the time you were together, and the memories you shared. It can also be a song you danced to, his/ her perfume/ cologne or favorite t-shirt that carries their scent, or something else that makes us smile.

Send Snail Mail

This is such a lost art. My first “love” was with Mario Lewis when I was 13 or 14. My family abruptly moved to Maine, while he lived in Rhode Island, and I was absolutely devastated to be away from the boy I thought was my soul mate. I wrote endless 10-page love letters to him daily and checked the mailbox several times a day in hopes that his brief postcards or greeting cards would arrive with that one little sentence that thrilled me for days; “Love you, baby”. I know; not exactly Shakespearean sonnets, but they did keep me from noticing any other boys for an entire year until I met another girl at United Skates of America the day we finally moved back to Rhode Island who showed me a picture of “her” boyfriend, Mario. Sorry about the tangent, but if you’ve ever received a hand-written letter in the mail, especially from someone you are crazy about, you know what I mean.

Talk Dirty

I know, I know, I know; this shit is awkward. But trust me; you’ll get used to it. And, like sushi, it’s an acquired taste, but oh, so delicious once you get into it. Just try it. If you need to, you can start simply by describing what you’re wearing, or just say you’re not wearing any panties at all. You can build up to sharing fantasies or talk about role-playing scenarios you might do together one day. You can take charge, or pretend to be an obedient little submissive willing to please them. Or, tell them the thought of making love to them makes you so hot you had to stop what you were doing and call them while you masturbated.

However mild or wild you get, it’s sure to add some spice to your relationship until the next time you are together.

I know there are plenty of other ways you can keep things hot while apart. What are your tips? Please share them in the comments below, and tell us about your long distance love. And let me know if you’re open to being interviewed for the new podcast series!

Dick Pics

Okay, hell, to the no. I am not a fan of nude selfies, dick pics, etcetera. Nope. However, I might make an exception, IF I was in love, and IF I completely trusted the person, and IF we loved a damn world away from each other. Men are visual creatures, and I know they love this shit. However…I was being pressured once by a man I had never met in person, and he was sexy as hell. And a doctor (I know, I was impressed, even though he turned out to be a damn Catfish, but whatever.) So when he kept nagging me like a spoiled little kid in a supermarket, I finally sent him this pic.

He was like, “Ohh, baby, wow, that is so damn sexy…I can’t believe you finally sent me a pic of your…um…what is that, anyway?”

He had no idea; it was my elbow.

My point is, men love nekkid pics, no matter what the body part is, lol. If you trust him, consider sending him a little sumthin’, sumpthin. If not, well, my trick worked.