So, you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, seen the movie, and now you’re ready to find a kinky partner to play with, but you have no idea where to begin. How in the world can you find freaky friends, especially when you’re traveling around the country and don’t know anyone?
Whether you’re a novice and too shy to meet someone local or the wanderlusty lover inside is inspiring you to travel for a new type of adventure, there are many ways to meet like-minded kinksters across the country. Below are 10 tips to help you meet other sexy souls on your safe, sane and consensual journey into the exciting world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, and sadomasochism).
Social Networks for Freaky Friends
Join alt.com and fetlife. These sites are social networks for people into bdsm and the fetish community, sort of like Facebook for freaky people not only around the country, but around the world. You can create a profile, post pictures and join fun groups or discussions, add friends and chat about limits. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of either site because there is an emphasis on sex, and I’m more of an old-fashioned girl looking for love (with a bit of spice now and then), but I do like the groups for Christians who are into role play (yes, really), and the writing groups.
Munches
Attend a munch. Many cities throughout the U.S. have small, informal gatherings where you can hang out at a local coffee shop, restaurant or bar and meet others who are usually eager to introduce newbies and novices into the scene. There’s no pressure, no playing, and the organizers are usually fairly protective of newcomers because they want you to be comfortable and to feel safe. Often, however, the group will go to an s&m club or party after the munch and you’re welcome to attend with them. Check out www.findamunch.com.
T.E.S.
Join an organization like The Eulenspiegel Society. T.E.S. is a not-for-profit, BDSM/ leather/ leather social organization which provides a haven for those looking not only to meet others into kink, but they offer weekly munches, classes, and workshops as well as annual conferences, conventions and other events. Not only do they have special groups for novices, younger members or those specifically interested in submissive women/ dominant men, but they offer women-only groups where newcomers and old-timers are welcome to discuss issues, ask questions and share information on how to stay safe while exploring.
Cinekink
Cinekink is an annual kinky film festival where you can see live performances, participate in sensation stations and get flogged, tied up, or indulge in other delicious fantasies, and watch fantastic short flicks for fetishists and lovers of erotica. To read more about my solo adventure at this year’s Cinekink kick-off gala and fundraiser (and find out how you can attend the film festival and after party) click here.
Fetish Fair Flea Market
Go to The Fetish Fair Flea Market (https://nelaonline.org/fetish-fair-fleamarket) to create or add to your toy box. This twice-yearly event is held in various states in New England where you can not only meet new friends, but you will have the opportunity to learn about the leather/fetish/BDSM lifestyles and community. With over 3,000 attendees and hundreds of vendors, you’re sure to find a sexy, shiny new toy and perhaps a new friend, to play with.
Meetup Groups
Join a meetup group. There are thousands of groups for people into BDSM, leather, fetishes, polyamory, nudism, and alternative sexuality. Click here for ideas.
The Folsom Street Fairs
The Folsom Street Fair is held yearly in San Francisco in September during “Leather Pride Week”. While Folsom mostly attracts gay men into the leather subculture, this non-profit charity fundraiser includes many people from sister groups who have booths, games, and performances to raise money for local and national nonprofits, so head to a spanking donation booth and give from your heart; it’s for a good cause. If you’re on the East Coast, Folsom Street East is held in June.
KinkFest
KinkFest is a huge, annual, 3-day event which offers classes and a large vendor mall with local and national leather, fetish, and kink vendors. With over 36,000 square feet of play space, there’s something here for everyone.
The Leather Archives & Museum
While you may not meet new potential partners at The Leather Archives & Museum is a cool place to go on a date. The museum offers educational and historical material documenting the kink, fetish and leather culture. Whether you’re researching something specific, or just curious, it’s a fun way to spend an afternoon. And who knows, if you are are single, you just might meet someone new.
Fetish Con
Fetish Con is an annual event, (sort of like ComicCon with much smaller, sexier costumes) where hundreds of top bondage, fetish, and adult models attend. You can browse tables where vendors and exhibitors highlight clothing, latex, corsets, shoes, rope, toys and more. There are plenty of lectures, workshops, and demonstrations and an erotic art show. Or, you can skip all of the educational stuff and head directly to the dungeon to play or watch people trying out new toys, bondage or suspension scenes, or get inspired by seeing people get a good old-fashioned spanking. If you get tired and feel like chilling, sexy Pervy Pool Parties are held each night during this 4-day wild event.
Exxxotica Expo
Held yearly in Chicago, Dallas & New Jersey, EXXXOTICA is one event sexy singles should not miss. If you get bored taking photos with seminude porn stars, however, you can shop at over 100 vendors, check out the scandalous live entertainment, or attend some of the fascinating educational seminars.
UPDATE (October 2018)
I just found this fantastic list of cool kinky events on the Cinekink website. Check them out and let me know what you think!
Bike Smut
Feminist Porn Awards
Fetisch Film Festival
La Fête du Slip
Good Vibrations Quickies Erotic Short Film Festival
Hump!
Pervfilmfestival
Pornfilmfestival Berlin
Pornotopia
Seattle Erotic Art Festival
Sex +++ *
For more kinky content on our site, click here and here.
If you’re a bit shy and want to explore fantasies in a more comfortable way, why not try some sexy, naughty, dirty texts for sexting your partner to get your feet (and perhaps some other body parts!) wet?
Wherever your travels take you, be sure to stay safe and have fun!
Have you ever been to any of these places? Do you have a “Fifty Shades” story? Share it with us (anonymously or not!)
