I will admit it, I love a good con artist story. Curled up with popcorn watching someone get outsmarted by their own charm is one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. But when you do the work I do, you cannot watch these shows purely for entertainment anymore. Every single one of them, whether it is a slapstick comedy from 1988 or a true crime documentary from last year, is teaching the exact same lesson I share with my clients every week.
So let's talk about the movies, shows, and documentaries that got it right, and what they actually teach us about spotting a con before it costs us our heart or our bank account.
The documentaries that started it all
If you want the real deal, start with Catfish, the 2010 documentary that gave us the word we all use now. Filmmaker Nev Schulman falls for a woman online, only to discover her entire life was invented. It is awkward, it is heartbreaking in places, and it turned into the long running MTV series Catfish: The TV Show, where the team helps people find out once and for all whether the person on the other end of their phone is real.
Then there is The Tinder Swindler on Netflix, which is probably the one you have already seen. Simon Leviev posed as a wealthy diamond heir, wined and dined women across Europe, then convinced them to take out loans in his name when his "enemies were after him." It is dramatic, it is infuriating, and it is also a near perfect case study in how a con artist builds urgency and isolates a target before ever asking for money.
Love Fraud on Showtime takes a different angle. Instead of following the victims first, it follows a bounty hunter tracking down Richard Scott Smith, a man who married and financially ruined a long string of women across the American Midwest. What stuck with me watching it is how ordinary he seemed. No accent, no exotic backstory, just a friendly guy who knew exactly what to say.
When the con artist is the main character
Dirty John, based on the real story reported by the Los Angeles Times, dramatizes a charming man named John Meehan who swept a successful businesswoman off her feet before the manipulation started showing its teeth. And Inventing Anna tells the story of Anna Delvey, who convinced New York's wealthiest people she was a German heiress while she quietly ran up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Neither of these are about romance scams in the international dating sense, but they belong on this list because they show the same personality type. Confident, likable, and completely comfortable lying to your face.
And if you want to lighten the mood after all that, go back to a classic. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels from 1988 has Steve Martin and Michael Caine playing rival con men trying to out-swindle each other on the French Riviera. It is silly, it is quotable, and it is proof that we have found con artists fascinating long before dating apps existed.
What all of these have in common
- The con artist moves fast and pushes for emotional intensity early
- There is almost always a reason things cannot be verified in person, at least not yet
- Money requests start small and reasonable before they escalate
- Isolation from friends and family happens gradually, so it barely feels like a red flag in the moment
I want to be really clear about something here, because it matters more to me than almost anything else I write. Most people who fall in love across borders, across a big age gap, or through a screen before ever meeting in person, are not being conned. I have lived in eight countries, Nigeria, India, Jamaica, Egypt, England, Thailand, the USA, and Morocco, and I have traveled to nearly a hundred more. I have seen genuine love form in every one of them. My own partner is Moroccan, younger than me, and Muslim, three things people love to tell women to be scared of. He is also one of the kindest, most devoted men I have ever known, and our relationship is the real thing.
I mention that partly because it is true and partly because I have been on the other side of this too. Years ago, before I understood what I now teach, I was scammed by someone who used every single tactic on that list above. It is part of why I do this work with so much empathy instead of judgment. Getting conned does not mean you were foolish. It means someone studied exactly how to bypass your good instincts.
Entertainment is fun, but you deserve real answers
These shows are great television because the stakes are high and the personalities are unforgettable. But if you are actually in a relationship with someone from another country, someone much younger than you, or someone you have not met in person yet, you do not need a documentary crew to help you figure out what is really going on. You need a clear, calm way to look at your specific situation.
That is exactly why I built my free Scam Probability Calculator. It walks you through the same patterns these shows portray, applied to your actual relationship, so you get a real answer instead of a guess based on fear or a Netflix binge.
And if you want to talk it through with someone who has lived both sides of this story- being scammed and being genuinely, happily loved by a man from a country and culture people warned me about- I would love to help you sort out what you are seeing. You can book a coaching call with me any time.
Enjoy the popcorn. Just do not let the plot twists replace the real conversation you deserve to have about your own relationship.
From April's guides
Enjoyed the drama? Learn to spot it in real life.
These stories make great television, but the same warning signs show up in real relationships every day. My Green Flags & Red Flags Guide breaks down exactly what to watch for, calmly and clearly, no fear required.
Still figuring out what's really going on?
Take the Catfish Checklist or the Visa Audit to get a clearer picture.
Your love feels real and you're ready to travel?
Find trusted flights, stays, and travel insurance on my Resources page, or get my Amazon bestseller.
Think you've been scammed?
Read what to do next, or browse all my Guides & eBooks.
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