Penal Codes For Plastic Penises; Countries Where Your Buzzing Beau Sex Toy Can Get You Arrested

Penis Code

Do you know about the Penis Code; whoops, Penal Code, in certain countries that can get your buzzing beau confiscated and possibly land you a hefty fine and even jail time?

Did you know that there are some countries where sex toys are illegal?

It’s true. Who knew there are some places where your buzzing backpack can get you arrested?

Countries Where Sex Toys are Illegal

Carrying sex toys in your bag, even if you’re just switching flights and never leave touch foot outside of the airport, can get you in some serious hot water. Check out this list and know before you go.

The United Arab Emirates

Yeah, this might be an obvious one for some people. If you loved “Sex and the City”, you might remember the misadventures of Samantha and the gang, and although they seemed to have quite a good time jet-setting around this glamorous country, they’re probably more comfortable in place like NYC where you can buy, read, and screw anyone (and anything) you want, (as long as it’s mutually consensual).

These guys aren’t going to let you in this modern country with some pretty traditional values if you’re traveling with a buzzing boyfriend. You can cry and say you’ve got a bad back and need a massager or pretend it’s an electric toothbrush without the bristles, but if you try to bring this baby in, it’s going to get confiscated since “pornographic material” is banned under Islamic Law.

Vietnam

Customs officers in Vietnam might “borrow” your vibrating mini-man but they’ll give him back to you when you leave the country. I just can’t imagine anyone having the balls to ask for it back after having it confiscated.

Maldives

This beautiful tropical paradise is not so p*ssy friendy. At least, not toward solo female travelers who might bring along their battery operated boyfriend. Sex toys are illegal in this Muslim country. One man went to jail for 6 months from bringing sex toys in.

Saudi Arabia

Don’t try to bring your “prohibited” penises into this country; they’ve got no love for lonely ladies here, either <sigh>.

Thailand

You can try to hide your “obscene object” in your backpack but even if it’s not buzzing they might find your baby boy, and Buddhist Temples and buzzing beaus just don’t mix.

Malaysia

The Malaysian Penal Code warns that anyone possessing, distributing or selling “obscene objects” or items will be fined and possibly imprisoned for up to three years. And I’m not so sure masturbating in a Malaysian prison is at all sexy, with or without a sex toy. Leave that bad boy at home.

India

How in the world can a country that created “The Kama Sutra” be so prudish and anti-plastic penis?

Do they not remember some of the suggestions in that book?

And with all that spicy food, one would imagine the people would be a bit more inclined to allow hot mamacitas to engage in a little self-pleasure. But sadly, no. I think it’s kind of a double standard because there are some sexual products that are okay, but if an item looks like genitals well then, shame on you.

Beware, Sis (And Be Creative)

So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you might need to explore the idea of a cucumber or banana, or perhaps consider having a foreign fling if that’s your thing. In any event, please don’t put yourself in the mortifying situation I found myself in once when I was flying from Rhode Island to Washington, DC. (Stay tuned for that story, coming soon.)

Don’t be sad. Girl, you’ve got options. Check out these posts here and here for your entertainment in the meantime.

Once you’re safely back home and want to add to your toybox, check out these new, popular toys for grown-up girls and boys.

Have you ever been caught buzzing at TSA, or anywhere vibrators and dildos were frowned upon?