Have you ever had a female friend who loves you? I mean that Thelma & Louise, I’ve got your back, ride or day, girl, you’re crazy, but I love you kind of way?

It’s different from having a man love you.

She’s not your soul mate; she’s your soul sister.

It’s great when you’ve found love, and a guy puts up with you because you’re soul mates or you’ve got so much invested, or well…sometimes the pum pum is just that good.

But with your female friends, they’re not obsessed or filled with lust; they simply love you, despite your many flaws.

Especially that one true friend, that soul sister who loves you; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

She’ll tell you when you look good. She’ll let you know gently when you don’t look so skinny in your skinny jeans, but she’ll never make you feel fat.

She’ll tell you when the man you’re seeing is a complete asshole.

And she’ll definitely let you know when you’re being a bit cray cray.

The kind of soul sister best friend you could actually give up your solo female, “I’m independent, I always travel alone because I’m a fearless badass” ways and actually explore another country with?

She will also drive you around on the hottest day of the year to find a place for you to finally end a celibate spell hotter and more endless than the Sahara desert so you and your man can have the perfect romantic evening together.

But she’ll force you to take a “man ban” and, if necessary, wait at the bottom of the stairs as you run up and down 8 flights when you break your self-imposed consequence for breaking said man ban.

She will forever be your little Goldilocks sis…cause she always knows when the D* is too hot, too cold, or just right for you.

She is your dating Gonad Guru, guiding you in her infinite D* wisdom. Your Penis Psychiatrist, dispensing sensation information. Your wise C*ck Consultant, Membrane Mentor, Testicle Teacher, Cojones Confidante.

Your Brilliant Balls Therapist helps you to analyze each and every situation, allowing you to slow down, to stop and see the potential outcome, long before you make any more mistakes, prescribing vagina valium, helping you to calm down each time a new boy begs and pleads, proclaiming his penis to be in love, promising momentary monogamy.

Yes, she is a true friend, helping you make better choices, pointing out when you are about to go off the deep end. Again.

But she’s also got your back.

When you’ve screwed up big time. When you got in over your head and need to borrow some money. When you’re feeling like shit and need someone to remind you of why you’re amazing. When you’ve allowed some temporary D to completely destroy the self-esteem, it took you months and months to build after the last disastrous relationship; she’s right there picking up the pieces.

And when you’re about to dive headfirst into the next bad idea, she won’t hold back in giving her opinion to try to be your Pssy Protector once again, knowing you won’t hear a damn thing she’s saying. Knowing she’s going to be there holding your hand when this guy shows his true colors, and you’re lying on the floor, black mascara running down your face, sobbing, “But I thought this one was different.”

Your friend is the one who laughs loudest at your jokes, gets your silliness, and ignores your hairy legs when you’re in a deep depression. She swears you’re brilliant and talented and creative and doesn’t understand why men don’t see you as amazing as she does. She calls you every day and would never in a million years stand you up.

She laughs at the way you say “creme brulee” and your attempts to speak French in what you consider a sexy, femme fatale accent, but kinda’ just makes you sound like you’re from Alabama.

She makes fun of how you purse your lips while putting on mascara, and pucker your lips as you pose for selfies. And she never ever points out that your obsessive use of FaceApp & FaceTune makes you look 10 years younger and 100 pounds thinner.

To her, you ARE young, thin, and gorgeous. She finds you absolutely perfect.

Do you have a soul sister best friend like this? Comment below!

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