The Painful, Yet Provocative Appeal of a Pesky Moroccan Mosquitoe Murderer

I was almost murdered last night.

Don’t be alarmed, I survived.

Barely.

But while the world is fighting the scariest world event we have ever had to endure, and I was here, (partly relieved, partly guilty that I am safe thanks to the swift, sane actions of the Moroccan government), I was battling life or death with an army of mosquitoes that have no interest in adhering to the new world rules of social distancing and dove in for dinner.

Unlike American mosquito’s that are slightly annoying, yet large enough and slow enough where most of the time, you can easily will the little suckers before they even get to the appetizer.

But, as every solo female traveler who has been here knows, oh, there’s something in the water in Morocco.

And these much tinier, much cuter, but oh so clever and fast and brutal little beasts Will. Not. Stop. Until you give in.

Oh, they try to seduce you, lulling you into sleep with their super soft little Moroccan accents, buzzing around telling you just how pretty and how sweet and how delicious you look.

But do not be fooled by their charming promises to give “just one lil soft kiss…right there behind your ear, or maybe just one on that tender spot on your neck, or maybe in the soft crook of your elbow”.

Do not give in!

These are not the sexy, irresistible Tom Cruise/Antonio Banderos/Brad Pitt bloodsuckers from “Interview With a Vampire”.

Oh, no. When Moroccan mosquitoes get you, you’re going to die, surely, but a long, slow, painful death.

And I admit…I was tempted.

I ignored my inner voice, screaming at me, telling me, “That is NOT an innocent fly buzzing around you. Wake up and save yourself!”

And I hate to blame the victim, but lately in this lockdown, I’ve been wearing a semi scandalous, but oh so comfortable, gorgeous, but very tight fitting night orange tie-dyed nightgown/dress.

And yes, I confess, that it is indeed quite revealing, with two tiny spaghetti straps, exposing quite a bit of shoulder, which of course, is simply not appropriate in Morocco.

So imagine my surprise when a buzzing little bugger took a big, unexpected bite out of my left…well, a body part that was def non-consensual, let’s just say that.

But, being the good girl that I am, I resisted.

I fought em off, yelping and screaming and swatting away until it was I that was victorious.

I may have been attacked and came away covered in itchy, ugly red welts…

But my chastity remains.

Of course, I am kidding about Moroccan “mosquitoes”, as most of you know how much I truly love it here in this gorgeous country. Click here to read more about what I really think about Moroccan men.

What about you ladies (and men); have you resisted the utterly charming attempts at seduction from mosquitoes…(and beasts and boys) from other countries?

Which countries do you find to have the most appealing, tempting seduction attempts?

What are some great pick up lines you’ve heard?

Comment below!