For a long time, I was embarrassed when people asked me the name of my website.
Perhaps it’s because a few weeks after I’d created the site, an elderly woman who must have been in her late 80’s asked me the name of my site.
When I told her she wrinkled up her nose and shrieked, “Well, that just sounds like a porno site,” emphasizing the word “porno” as if I’d said I’d created a website about Satanic rituals describing orgies with a group of double-jointed acrobats.
Come to think of it, that could be kinda’ fun.
But anyway shame washed over me and I felt as if a scarlet S had been tattooed on my face, and avoided the question for months afterward, instead, mumbling something about having a “travel site” and handing people my business cards.
It took me years to finally feel not only comfortable with the name of my website, but to feel pride in what I’d accomplished.
I think the turning point was a few years later when I was sitting in a workshop at the New York Travel Fest, an annual event hosted by Roni Weiss, and I admitted I’d been embarrassed about the name of my site and considered changing it.
The strong reaction I received from my fellow bloggers and influencers in the room helped me to change my mind, not because of the huge amount of work and stress that changing a domain name would be, but because of the huge amount of enthusiastic support and encouragement they gave me.
Not only did the love the name, Love Lust or Bust; they were thrilled at the niche, and every one of them insisted, demanded that I stop being shy about it and fully embrace, not only the romantic, sweet, sensual aspect of love and travel, but to grab on to the sexual, scandalous side of my niche by the balls and to scream it from the treetops like Tarzan with his junk popping out of his loincloth.
And my site went in a whole other direction, with one sexy article going so viral it brought me to the top of Google search pages with over 500,000 views.
The Search
Anyhow, people are always asking me how I came up with the name of the site, so I wanted to explain. I know it can be especially confusing when I’m in another country and there’s a language barrier. I tried and tried for hours, days, weeks before finally finding a domain name that wasn’t already taken.
Sure, I could have found something close to what I wanted that would describe love and romance and travel with a sprinkling of scandal all mixed in, like the word “Wanderlusty”.
I loved that word. Unfortunately, it was taken, along with every other possible word that was remotely similar.
Once in a while, I did find a similar word offered with a .net or other domain address, but I was determined to have a “.com” address.
It seemed like every damn sexy word about travel was taken, until I reached the point of frustration and just threw the words “Love, lust, and bust” together, partly in jest, and succeeded.
Love
The word “love” was an obvious one.
I wanted to attract people who love travel, and who had either found love or were seeking love while traveling.
There are plenty of articles about love and romance on the site, including tips on how to keep long-distance love alive, obtain a fiance or spousal visa for your partner, romantic hotels and getaways, weddings around the world, and how to actually meet someone special. Click here for these and other articles.
Lust
This one was risky.
While the word “wanderlusty” innocently describes a passionate desire for travel, the word “lust” brings to mind sex. In the beginning, I was leaning more toward romance and did not want people to view this site as something pornographic or vulgar or graphic.
Over the years, however, I have found that my followers (mostly single female millennial travelers), and the hundreds of travel writers, bloggers and influencers I know absolutely loved the more scandalous articles I included.
Whether I was writing about sex museums in Amsterdam, strange sexual customs around the world, which countries have a law against owning or bringing in adult romance enhancers and “portable, vibrating boyfriends” (ie, sex toys), or tips on how to have phone sex with your long-distance lover (which got almost a half a million views!), people went crazy over the sexier, spicier, naughtier articles and stories on the website.
Women really love my articles about men in other countries, like this one with some amazing photos of gorgeous foreign men.
Personally, I liked the word “lust” because, for me, it describes an intense, passionate, craving for travel.
But of course, there are people who are not really seeking a long term relationship, but prefer enjoying a string of sexual flings or holiday romances and just want to have fun as they globetrot around the world.
For women (and men) who are looking to hang out, have fun, hook up and meet new friends, I’ve included plenty of spicy tips with a strong emphasis on how to do so in a safe, consensual way.
Far too many women have gotten hurt (or worse) while having foreign flings. My heart breaks when I read about solo female travelers who have gotten beaten, raped, sold into sexual slavery, or murdered around the world.
“Just say no” is great advice for people regarding drugs. Not so much for women when it comes to meeting gorgeous, exotic, sexy men while traveling.
So, for those of you who do want to have a bit of fun, I’ve tried to give the best advice I can on how a good girl can be a little bit bad, but stay safe when it comes to dating abroad.
Bust
I don’t talk much about my own romantic rendevous. Partly because I rarely have any.
That hasn’t always been the case. I’ve been married before, to a man I did meet while on my first trip to London.
I’ve also dated a little while being abroad, and I have definitely done the online dating thing. In fact, I started a podcast called “Tinder Terrorists, OkCrazies, and Plenty of Catfish; Dating Disasters from Travelistas Who Have Survived Them”, based on Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and other online dating sites and apps.
But right now, work keeps so busy that even though men I meet get excited because they pretty much think I’m a freak and sexually open (thanks to my semi-scandalous website), I rarely have time to pursue a serious relationship, and I’m sure people would be shocked to hear this, but I have absolutely no interest or desire in a purely physical, sexual fling.
But when I have been open to dating online, I have had my series of duds. Or, “busts”.
I’ve been “catfished” more than a few times. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, “catfished” was coined after a documentary was created by a guy named Nev Schulman who fell in love with a gorgeous young woman who lived across the country.
She was the typical “girl next door”‘ pretty, petite, twenty-something, and blond. She loved art and horses and she seemed perfect.
Except that she wasn’t.
When he decided to surprise her and showed up at her house, he found that she was actually a middle-aged, overweight, plain, bored housewife who has tricked him by creating a fake profile on social media.
Her husband, a fisherman, explained to Nev that sometimes, when fishing can be really boring, catfish stir things up a bit, causing some excitement.
For me, I just think of the saying, “there’s something fishy going on here” and that about sums it up.
In any case, after the documentary was aired, thousands of people across the world contacted Nev to share their nine “catfish stories” with him and to ask for his help.
MTV decided to create a reality show about Nev helping hundreds of people to hunt down their mysterious online lovers, and while most turned out to be very different from what they portrayed themselves to be, a few actually were real, and one or two couples actually fell in love.
The reality tv show “90 Day Fiance” and similar shows are hugely popular, so I try to include articles on helping people to decide whether their partner is trying to use them for sex, money or a green card, or if their love is real, so click here for some useful advice.
And leave a comment below if you’ve married a foreigner and it worked out…or it didn’t.
Or, tell us your favorite couple from any of the shows. Mine is Nicole and Azan from Morocco. I die every time I watch an episode with them in it!
But the final reason for choosing the word “bust” was because of the popular saying “or bust” used particularly by hitchhikers and travelers in the 70’s and 80’s. The Free Dictionary describes the saying as;
or bust
| or collapse from the effort; – used in phrases expressing determination to do something; as, Oregon or bust, meaning “We will get to Oregon or die trying.” |
Whether you’re searching for love, lust, a way to figure out of you’re being catfished, or you simply are addicted to travel, I hope Love, Lust or Bust can give you some helpful dating and travel tips, tricks, and stories to inspire and guide you. Or maybe shock you.
You can click here for more failed, “Bust”, or catfish articles and stories, and please send me your story (even anonymously) if you have one!
And if you have any stories or advice about romance/ love/ sex/ dating and/ or travel you’d like to share, I love publishing guest blog posts.
Send me a message at travelriter (at) Gmail (dot) com.
Please let me know what you think of the name of this website in the comments below.
Also, be honest and tell me whether you want to see more articles about romance, sex, dating, safety, or more of an emphasis on travel tips.
Thanks so much for checking out the site (and I apologize for not having any porno stories for you freaky-deaks looking for it. You can, however, find freaky friends across the globe. Click here for tips on finding other open-minded, alternative lifestyle folks).
BEFORE YOU GO:
☑ Book your flight: My absolute favorite sites for cheap flights are Skiplagged and Kiwi.com. I also find really great deals on Skyscanner, Google Flights, and Momondo. The reason I’ve been able to get dirt cheap flights around the world is that I’m flexible, not only with travel dates but also with airlines, baggage, seat choices, etc.
☑ Book your accommodation: I always use Airbnb and Booking.com. If you’re on a budget, consider using Hostelworld. If you click on the Airbnb link and you don’t have an account yet – you’ll get a $30 discount on your first booking.
☑ Protect yourself: Yes, I mean condoms, girl. But also, travel insurance. Travel insurance is a must, especially in a post coronavirus pandemic world. World Nomads and SafetyWing offer the best rates.
☑ Do you need a visa? If you aren’t sure if you need a visa, it would be a smart idea to take a quick look before you go. You can use iVisa – it’s super useful and easy to use.
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Ok, let me be honest, I would consider taking their money, but 1. Google hates that so it’s “illegal” and 2. The heffers only offer me between $25-100, and these hookers can afford so much more, so I just quote them “$22,222 per sponsored post.
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*If I get enough of you subscribing at that tier, I might even post some of my more scandalous photos. I’ll even reply back to you once in a while.
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Alright, that’s not really true. Actually, I don’t send many emails (yet…I will one day) for the same reason I’m not good at being a “Fatal Attraction” type of stalker. I just do not have the damn time.
I prefer focusing on writing content rather than sending emails, but in the future, I intend to make more time, both for emails and stalking men who have ghosted me.
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