Penis Payment for Services Rendered
Life as a travel planner/ blogger/ writer sounds glamorous to most people.
And it can be.
But oh, do you work your ass off.
Many bloggers will convince you that you, too, can make a million dollars a year and get paid to drink fancy cocktails at luxury hotels around the world; IF you buy their course/ book/ coaching sessions.
What they might not mention is what I learned (before I ever started my website) from some of the most respected, successful bloggers online; you might become successful if you’re willing to work hard, but do not expect to make any real money in your first few years, and even then, you may not be able to earn a full-time income for at least five years.
What I did not learn were the struggles I would face being a single woman in this industry.
I recently got so upset by the number of questions about my age, whether I was married, and the number of dick pics and requests for sex I received, almost all from men in the tourism business I assumed who were interested in collaborating together.
I was incredibly frustrated and offended.
So, I wrote them this open letter on Facebook.
I specifically included a photo of me looking crazy and pissed off; no makeup, before brushing my hair, and before showering so smelling like the manmade, floating trash dump off the coast of Staten Island.
Sadly, none of the men read it.
I know this because the only comments from people who did read it were 1. from women and 2. from male friends who gave their support and commented directly on the contents of the letter.
The rest, all comments by men regarding how “beautiful” I was, which is exactly what I had expected.
Sigh.
Below is the letter, written to the men in the travel industry, but now, hopefully, to prepare some of you women (and men) who may be considering starting your own travel blog.
Yes, it can be done. But be prepared, don’t quit your day job (at least, not for a while), and have a “Plan B.
Unless, of course, you are hoping to get paid in penises.
“Just a public service reminder to the (few, not all) lovely, wonderful men who own tour companies/ businesses in the travel industry who seem to maybe not know that I often work from 5 am-midnight daily.
7 days a week for the past 5 years.
The reason I believe that you are not aware of the actual work that I do is partly due to your incredibly sweet offer of “physical companionship” along with the “free” tour/accommodations, which is so kind and selfless of you.
Your behavior tells me exactly how much you respect and admire my professionalism, expertise and hard work.
It is INCREDIBLY generous of you to offer your sexual services to me Instead of actually paying me for the hard work that I do to promote your business to help you get tourists/ clients who will pay you a great deal so that you and your wife can live in comfort while I am supposed to be grateful IF you even offer me one night in a “luxury” tent so that you can attempt to grope me.
However,
1. See the attached definition of the word “business” below. (Strange…but in no dictionary could I find sex included in the meaning of business!)
2. I’m tired AF.
I have been working my ass off for the past 5 years to be respected as a professional.
But since you’re obviously so blinded by my beauty that you missed that, I’m gonna’ give you a pass.
It is definitely not your fault for misunderstanding the word “business” for “boobs”. Let’s just blame it on the language barrier.
Or corona. We can blame a lotta’ shit on the corona.
So, I get why you completely dismissed my attempts to work together and when I said: “let’s collaborate” you heard “let’s -“…
But, I would probably just fall asleep before your attempts at distracting me from my priority (work) even began so you might want to just skip to & go straight to a hooker.
I realize some of you might truly believe that a woman who owns not one but two travel websites might be offering to work her ass off to promote your company and most likely bring you quite possibly a lot of clients is willing to do so, not only for “free” but to also give YOU a lil sumthin sumthin for that “free” night of accommodations.
But sadly, boys, I’m old.
I don’t mean old as in “cougar”.
I mean old as in I need my sleep, ideally by 9 pm.
Too tired to (blank) – and too tired to shave my legs.
So think long and hard before you offer me a “free” anything.
I’m sorry…forget I used the word “hard”.
And if you do think of me again in any way that is not strictly business, let me put this image in your head in place of that lil fantasy.
Picture my pussy as the driest, dustiest, most wrinkled, barren part of the Sahara, that even the cockiest Berber man would be too terrified to venture into, because a man’s disrespect when it comes to my work makes me wanna bite off that lil poisonous scorpion head off, chew it up and spit it out.
* However, should you be one of the decent ones who understand the value I can bring to you and that our business relationship can be mutually beneficial, I appreciate you more than you know.
And most likely, that one article we negotiated will turn into many, many mentions on my website in articles and all over my social media accounts. I ALWAYS under-promise and over-deliver.
And if you respect the hard work that I do AND you’re interested, and you own more than 2,879 camels and 4 luxury camps, or you’re a pilot and can hook me up on your free flights for friends plan, call me.
And PS…for my actual friends reading this, let’s see how many men completely miss this and leave comments below on my beauty & sex appeal & tell me they love me.
Yeah…life as a travel writer can be so glamorous.
https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business
