Being in a long-distance relationship is always a challenge during the best of times. But surviving long-distance love during a forced or voluntary quarantine period while the world is on lockdown due to the Coronavirus can make anyone go insane.
Here are a few tips to try to help you get through this.
Hang in there. It will get better.
For some of you, the stress may be too much. Around the world, we are filled with anxiety and fear. This is a good time to really see what your partner is made of and whether you can see yourself with this person five, ten, or twenty years from now.
Of course, we will all have moments of panic. We will take turns freaking out, worried about money, job security, and justifiable fears over whether we might get infected. About our mortality.
But watch your partner closely. Is s/he being loving and supportive, making sure you are okay, or as okay as possible? Does your partner listen and try to reassure you, even if there is no way they can “fix” this problem or make it go away? Is your partner the type of person who will open their heart and their home to help others when possible, or does s/he have a “survival of the fittest” and f everybody else mentality?
Does s/he have the values and morals and the qualities you want in a lifelong partner?
If so, this experience will bring you closer together.
Anytime a couple is able to survive through a difficult experience by being strong together, the bond will cement the love that you have, making it nearly impossible for you to separate. If you can survive this, you can survive anything.
Here are some things you can do to survive and maintain your long-distance relationship through this crazy time when you are not able to be together.
- Consider having a professional support system to help you with anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and depression. There are many doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, and counselors who are now working with patients through Zoom calls. If you do have health insurance and you are able to take advantage of this resource, use it. Your partner may be the most supportive, loving person in the world, but there are trained professionals who can help you through this.
- Find a support buddy you can talk to regularly. If you have a good friend you can share things with, it will help to take the pressure off your relationship, especially if you have any insecurities about your partner, which is normal when you live far away from each other. A friend can often help you to relax and react in a saner, healthier way so that your partner doesn’t have to see your crazy side. At least, not until after you’re married.
- Listen. When your partner is worried, and they will be, allow them to share with you the things they are afraid of. Many people are not used to sharing their emotions or fears. They’ve been taught to keep everything inside and simply figure it out and find a solution. If they do want to talk; let them. And unless they ask you if you have an answer, don’t try to fix it, just listen. Many times just being able to vent can help.
- Find fun things to do together. Create crazy “dates” you can do online. Maybe you can watch the same Netflix movie together as if you were cuddling up in bed together. Then talk about the movie later, and whether or not you liked it.
- Create a playlist of your favorite songs to share with each other. Yes, I know, it’s corny. But it’s also fun. Just try it.
- Cook “together”. Plan a meal together, something simple like spaghetti bolognese, or maybe a sexy desert-like cheesecake, then eat it together.
- Share some jokes or funny videos with each other. My friend and I were sharing Coronavirus memes with each other the first few days of the mandatory lockdown and it helped so much. Yes, they were inappropriate and f*cked up, but hey, funny af. I needed that.
- Watch a video of your favorite comedians or a comedy show together.
- Play The Question Game Every time I have suggested playing The Question Game, where one person asks questions and everyone present answers, and the next person asks a question, and so on, people laugh or groan or roll their eyes. But after their initial reluctance, once people begin playing they always find it to be a fun way to get to know each other. I have known friends for many years, but only after playing The Question Game did I find out their biggest goals and dreams, and learned so much more about who they are. With a romantic partner, you can not only find out some of their deepest secrets but if you choose to, you can take it to a whole other sexy level where you have an “excuse” to be a bit more scandalous and bolder than you normally would, which can really increase the intimacy between you.
- Have a “Double Date” with friends who are also not able to be together due to the quarantine. You can learn even more about your partner when his/her friends are hanging out with you. Sometimes they might recall a funny story about your partner from their childhood, or maybe share something special that your partner did to help someone that they might be too humble to ever mention to you. By having a Zoom or Facetime double date, you can get to know each other on an even deeper level, and help each other to stay calm and focused.
- Start special savings account for a trip together once things are back to normal. Right now, many of us are nervous about money, especially since so many people around the world are not able to work. But whether or not you currently have an income, planning a dream trip to take together in the future can give you hope and something magical to look forward to. With the money you are saving now by not being able to go out to eat or on dates, plan a trip someplace sexy or romantic where you can explore together. Make vision boards and share them via video or photos. Look up how to create a vision board on Youtube, but basically you paste photos and words that can help you manifest trips, or things that you want to attract in your life. They’re really powerful and positive, so creating these vision boards together can be fun and exciting.
- Communication is key. Blah blah, I hate whenever I read articles about relationship advice and their top tip is always to “communicate”. We all know communication is important. But what exactly does that mean for you? Are you okay with only speaking once or twice a week? Do you need to have daily video chats at a scheduled time? Find out what your partner feels most comfortable with, and make sure you tell them what you need so that there is no confusion or resentment. Also, be patient rather than to be demanding when asking your partner to communicate in a way that makes you feel loved. For some people, when times get tough, they need to go into their shells or their caves (yeah, I’m talking about you men out there) until they figure out how to fix a problem. When I was in a long-distance relationship in the past, there was a man I had not yet met in person, but we were getting kind of serious. But when he had an emergency and his mother was ill, he disappeared. Initially, when I didn’t know about his mother’s illness, I assumed the worst and was about to accuse him of no longer being interested. I assumed that he had met someone local and had moved on. But I thought about what I really wanted to say and explained to him that I enjoyed getting to know him and if and when he had time, I would love to spend time chatting online with him until we were able to meet in person. His reaction was really positive and after explaining the things that he was going through and about his mother, he began sending regular texts and videos, expressing his interest and desire to meet. My message to him and sharing my needs if we were going to pursue something romantic really helped us to find a solution.
- Write a love letter. I know, that’s old-fashioned. But long ago, when people were separated by soldiers going to war, or other circumstances, long before the internet was a thing, people lived for love letters through snail mail. If you can send your partner an actual letter, that is one of the sexiest, most romantic things you can do to build the fire between you. Even if you can’t or don’t want to go through the trouble of actually mailing a letter, or if it just is not possible because you’re on lockdown, you can still write a love letter through email or text. But take your time with it. Make sure you list every single thing you love about your partner. Maybe you can write one thing for each letter of the alphabet, or, you can write a silly poem. Imagine a huge smile on your partner’s face when they receive it.
- Send your lover a gift. If you can send something special from home, or if it won’t put you in danger to go to the post office to mail a package, its a great way to lessen the miles between you. Maybe you can buy an online gift from Amazon and have it delivered, or maybe a care package from a local delivery service near them. Even if you are not able to mail anything now, you can find possible gifts online and save them in your basket for when the time is right.
- If you have any artistic talent, draw or paint them a picture, and take a photo or video and send it to them. Maybe paint their portrait. Or, you can even draw silly stick figures of the two of you having adventures together, either something you did together in the past or perhaps something you plan to do together once you are able to be together again.
I know you probably expected me to talk about mutual masturbation and phone sex on this list. Ha! Surprise. I’m not always talking about sex. Besides, I assume that this is a given; those in long-distance relationships are most likely sending sexy photos and cyber sexting each other already. (However, if you’re shy, or you’re ready to spice things up and want some ideas on sexting your long-distance lover, check out the most popular article on Love Lust or Bust.)
To be honest, right now while the world is in turmoil and chaos and mass panic due to this pandemic, sex might be the last thing on some people’s minds.
There is always going to be time for sexual intimacy and fun, and if you’re up for it now, have at it. But just remember your partner might not be in the mood just because you are, and may need some time.
Try to find a happy balance where you can get there at the same time, and I don’t mean mutual, simultaneous orgasms.
This just might be the best time to work on the love between you, whether you’re in a brand new relationship and testing the waters, or you’re deeply, passionately in love and feeling like you’re going crazy not seeing each other.
Be patient. This is a really tough time, but this too shall pass.
Use this time to grow closer together and build intimacy, and imagine all the beautiful, wonderful, sexy, sweet ways you will have fun together when this is all over.
And if you have any tips or ideas of how others can survive through this madness, please comment below and share with us.
BEFORE YOU GO:
☑ Book your flight: My absolute favorite sites for cheap flights are Skiplagged and Kiwi.com. I also find really great deals on Skyscanner, Google Flights, and Momondo. The reason I’ve been able to get dirt cheap flights around the world is that I’m flexible, not only with travel dates but also with airlines, baggage, seat choices, etc.
☑ Book your accommodation: I always use Airbnb and Booking.com. If you’re on a budget, consider using Hostelworld. If you click on the Airbnb link and you don’t have an account yet – you’ll get a $30 discount on your first booking.
☑ Protect yourself: Yes, I mean condoms, girl. But also, travel insurance. Travel insurance is a must, especially in a post coronavirus pandemic world. World Nomads and SafetyWing offer the best rates.
☑ Do you need a visa? If you aren’t sure if you need a visa, it would be a smart idea to take a quick look before you go. You can use iVisa – it’s super useful and easy to use.
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